


My Love Was Down In A Frozen Ground

by SlarStarsFanFics



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Being A Ghost Does That, Ben Remembers The Day That Wasn’t Because I Say So, Big Brother Diego Hargreeves, Brotherly Love, Corporeal Ben Hargreeves, Diego Hargreeves is Bad at Feelings, Gen, Good Sibling Ben Hargreeves, Headaches & Migraines, One Shot, Repairing Relationships, This Is Just Me Projecting My Touch Starved Ass Onto My Favourite Characters, Touch-Starved, We Better Get To See Them Next Season
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-07
Updated: 2020-04-07
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:27:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23473966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SlarStarsFanFics/pseuds/SlarStarsFanFics
Summary: “Can you not do that here?”“Why? It’s not like you were actually reading.” Diego retorted. “You’ve been staring at that page for ten fucking minutes!”-Ben and Diego talk
Relationships: Ben Hargreeves & Diego Hargreeves
Comments: 4
Kudos: 65





	My Love Was Down In A Frozen Ground

**Author's Note:**

> Title from re:stacks - Bob Iver  
> -  
> We never really get any hints to how Ben’s relationship with Diego was like before he died. We see Him and Luther in a flashback and Ben defends him a lot in The Day That Was. Allison says how much she misses him when she sees him in the tapes. We see him with Klaus all the time. He was one of the first people Five called for when he time traveled, and Five seemed very upset when Vanya said that his death was horrible. Vanya says that he was the glue that held them all together. I don’t think Diego ever mentions him, but he goes from upset with to willing to cut Luther when the statue breaks, but that’s it. Whenever Ben “interacts” with Diego, he’s either exasperated or upset, so I wanted do dig into that a bit.

“Ben? Are you okay?”

Ben looked up from the page he had been staring at for who knows how long to see his second oldest brother leaning over a chair. His eyebrows were drawn in uncharacteristic concern. After a long second, he nodded. 

Diego pulled the chair out, sat down, and started sharpening his knives. The scraping sound ground on Ben’s nerves, worsening the headache he had been harbouring for an hour. He dropped his book onto the table.

“Can you not do that here?”

“Why? It’s not like you were actually reading.” Diego retorted. “You’ve been staring at that page for ten fucking minutes!”

“So what? Your knives are driving me up the wall!”

To make a point, Diego scraped the sharpening rod against the knife very slowly. Ben dropped his head onto the table and choked back a sob. The Horror was shrieking at him.

“Woah, hey! What's wrong?”

”Headache.” he mumbled, his voice muffled by the wood. 

”Damn, sorry.” Diego gently put down the knife and rod. 

Ben mumbled something else. 

”What?”

”I said, why are you here?”

”Geez, you're grumpy.” He joked.

Ben lifted his head off the table with a raised eyebrow.

”What, am I not allowed to be here?”

”I didn’t say that.”

Diego hummed and slumped back in his chair. He started tapping his fingers on his thigh. 

“Do you need an Advil or some shit?”

Ben nodded into his arms. Diego cringed as the chair screeched. Ben flinched.

Ben didn’t know why Diego wanted to help. What happened to the only people he cared about being Mom and Patch? It’s obvious that he wasn’t being sincere when he said that, but it had still hurt. He sometimes doubted if he meant anything to his siblings now that he was dead, and Diego’s words cemented that into his head.

Diego put a mug and pill down in front of him, then dropped back down into his chair. 

“What’s that?”

“Hot milk and honey. That’s what Mom made when you used to get these, right?” 

Ben nodded. He was touched that his brother remembered, not only his choice drink but that this wasn’t a new thing. He had been getting headaches since he was young, and a few times they had developed into migraines. Dad had always brushed them off, pushing him as hard as ever, if not harder. Mom had always brought him aside afterwards and did her best to make him comfortable.

Ben swallowed the pill and downed a bit of the drink. He noticed Diego staring.

“What is it?”

“Are you mad at me?”

He was taken aback. 

“Why would you think that?”

“You’ve been avoiding me for weeks now. Oh, and Klaus let some things slip.”

_Of course he did._ Ben rolled his eyes and sighed.

“I'm not mad, I'm just...”

Diego was staring at him expectantly. 

”Well?”

”Did you miss me? All those years I was gone?” 

Diego suddenly looked very sad.

“Of course I did.”

“It never seemed like you did. You never mentioned me or anything- gosh, that makes me sound so fucking narcissistic and selfish, I’m sorry.”

“No, don’t be. You’re not the selfish one.”

Ben stared down at his book cover. _Sense and Sensibility._

“It hurt, talking about what happened to you. It brought up feelings that I didn’t want to deal with, so I never brought it up.”

“Huh.”

Diego cocked an eyebrow. 

“Really? I just made a personal confession and all you have to say is, huh? Man, I guess your heart died with you.”

“I’m not Luther, you can’t provoke me.”

Diego didn’t reply to that. Ben knew more about his sibling’s habits and flaws than he had as a child. Years of observation added up to something after all. 

A wave of pain burst in the front of his skull, causing him to drop his head into his arms again. His brother dropped a comforting hand on his back.

“That painkiller hasn’t kicked in yet?”

“Nope.”

“Damn.”

And they just sat like that for a while. There wasn’t much else to say. Ben finished off his drink and the pain in his head numbed. 

Diego looked at the ticking clock on the wall. _12:23 am_. He stood and pulled his brother up with him. 

“Alright, bedtime.”

Ben groaned, but let himself be led out of the kitchen and up the stairs. The eldritch monster in his stomach groaned and gurgled before settling down for good. That either meant they were sleeping or that he got a really bad haircut and they refused to be seen with him. He assumed it was the former. 

He shut his eyes and they refused to open again. The hands that were pulling him along shifted, and he felt himself being lifted off of the ground. 

It felt nice. Touch had been a stranger to him for ten odd years, and being enveloped in someone’s arms made his skin buzz and his muscles relax for the first time in years. 

He could feel himself being slowly dropped onto a comfortable mattress and then be covered in a warm blanket. He could have sworn that a kiss ghosted across his temple.

”Goodnight little brother.”

**Author's Note:**

> All the songs I listened to while writing this are [here](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3F8rRXBYPaOONNalNqfSDy?si=vxG3Q-WQTP-TaPDn0ayv0g)


End file.
